There is no way you can be grateful when you’re mad.
Mad is a disease that eats at you slowly. It does not make you better. It does not encourage you or anyone around you. It does not make you physically fit in any way.
In reality, it tears you down. And those around you. No one is better off when you are mad. The aftereffects of mad can linger for a long time—if not forever.
Photo by bern161616
It is so easy to let ourselves fall into the trap of being mad at those whom we know we should love the most. Those who are closest to us. Those who are in our family. These are the people we may not have chosen to be in our life. At this level—no matter what your belief system is about God or the hereafter—you have to know that this is fate. All you can do is take it on faith.
If you find yourself mad all the time, and you look back and notice that it’s been a year or longer that you have stayed mad—you have a problem. Again, let me repeat that.
You have a problem.
This is all about you. No one else. We don’t look at the person or the object at which you are mad. They have nothing in reality to do with this. Your anger comes from your perception of that person or thing.
Whenever I ask someone, “If today were your last day on this planet, would you want to stay mad at this person?” the answer is always no.
The opposite is also true—if that person died today, and you were still mad, how bad would you feel for the rest of your life? You would feel a constant nagging of regret on a daily basis.
If the person did die, you would then face an even greater challenge—forgiving yourself. For having gotten mad and stayed that way. For allowing it to go that long. Why don’t you forgive yourself now? You must forgive your self now for even being mad.
Write this down. List all the things you are mad about. They are small. They are pitiful. They are non-consequential in the long, big picture of life.
Where is the love? Love and mad do not mix. It does not mix in friendships or intimate relationships. It does not work with your spouse. Ever.
If you choose to be mad—everything will be second-best for the rest of your life. You will never experience the best you could be or the best of life.
At this level you have to start working on yourself. It’s 100% about you. No one else. It’s your emotions, your thoughts, and your reactions to everything taking place around you that you must modify, change, and alter immensely.
This is your life. Take note – it will not last forever.
Stop acting like a prima donna as if you can float through life casually—never requiring more of yourself to step up and be more.
The Key to Moving Past Your Anger
Getting rid of your anger is all about doing something most people give up on shortly after childhood—becoming more.
Becoming more…emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Most people become stagnant. Flat line. Lukewarm.
Listen carefully: If you’re not rocking the boat, then you’re sitting in it. You’re floating. Unless the wind blows or the current takes you somewhere you remain where you are. Doing nothing.
Sitting in the boat and moving past your anger takes effort, energy, and lots of emotions. It does not come easy. It takes coordination. Strength. And you will become exhausted.
Critical note here: everyone is in his or her own boat. Each boat contains only one person. You are the captain of your boat. You control every aspect of your boat.
Most people treat boating like a round of bumper cars. Constantly out of control. Constantly not taking control. Going with the flow of the current and the blowing of the wind.
A lot of people aren’t even in a boat yet—they’re still stuck on the riverbank of life. They watch many boats go by. They never want to step out into their own and do something with their life. They are fearful and do not trust others who are boating or even the boats themselves. They love to point and laugh and criticize everyone passing by. In reality, they are mad that it is not them.
Those same people watch boats that seem to float by with very little effort. They think they caught the correct current. They are the lucky ones. Their boats are better. Whatever the reason, they do not see that anyone took responsibility for their own boat.
Often, those individuals who appear to be moving effortlessly quietly built a small engine while no one was looking to propel themselves in directions they could not have gone on their own.
At this point a lot of people think of themselves as being stuck. I hear it all the time. They are not stuck. They are just doing nothing. They confuse inactivity with being stuck.
It is impossible to be stuck with massive activity.
You cannot be stuck physically. You cannot be stuck emotionally. And you cannot be stuck spiritually—if you add massive internal activity.
Please note, I said internal. It starts within you. Emotionally. Mentally. With the decisions that you must make now. Today.
Even if you fell out of the boat and someone threw you a life jacket—you have to grab it. You have to put it on. Notice all the activity that is involved with saving your own life!
Let me repeat one more time… It really is about you.
Your belief system.
If you continue to stay mad and believe you are stuck, you will never be all you’re supposed to be as an author, speaker, leader, dad, mom, sibling, or even a friend.
And you cannot be all you can be for GOD. You will never fulfill your purpose in life. The wick of your candle will go out forever.
That is not you. I know you don’t want to look like that. I know you do not want to die like that.
People who choose to remain mad take a little bit of life on a daily basis from everyone around them. They are not givers. They are total takers. They deflate life instead of inflating it.
- What am I mad about?
- Who am I mad at?
- And this is a big one . . . in what ways am I mad at myself?
Do not just “think” of the answers. Right now, type them out or write them down. This is a massive act of self-actualization. A process you must do on your own.
I want you to be free.
Free to become all you’re supposed to be. Free to give. Free to love. Free to totally be YOU—so you can massively give to those around you in a positive way.
Got some tips on dealing with being mad? Share your thoughts and some stories in the comments below. Looking forward to the discussion…
I believe an individual can change how they feel in an instant. But that takes practice. Lots of practice on a daily basis. It also takes some guidance and direction. Most of us do not know what to do or how to fix this. Here is a solution that really does work…
Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. This is the closest thing to perfect practice I know of…
Og Mandino suggests to read this Scroll II from The Greatest Salesman in the World (Chapter 9, p. 58) three times a day for thirty days straight. I have created a special, downloadable PDF of this scroll that you can get by clicking here. Do this. It is the closest thing to “magical” that will cause you to be transformed – if you want to be. The real ultimate question is, do you want to change? If so, read the following three times a day for 30 days. Then report back to me!